Runningbrook International Preschool
San Carlos Center: Carlos Peña Otaegui 11206 (intersection La Fuente) San Carlos de Apoquindo, Las Condes
Runningbrook International Preschool
San Carlos Center: Carlos Peña Otaegui 11206 (intersection La Fuente) San Carlos de Apoquindo, Las Condes
November 5, 2026
Picture this: you've just spent the afternoon building a blanket fort, making a snack and reading three bedtime stories. Then your child sees a toy commercial and announces they want that, and suddenly you're wondering whether any of your effort is being noticed. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone, and it doesn't mean anything is going wrong.
Gratitude isn't something children are born with fully formed. Like walking, talking or sharing, it develops over time, with patience, modeling and lots of practice. The good news is that the most effective ways to build gratitude aren't big lessons or lectures. They're small, warm, everyday moments that fit into the life you're already living.
In this article, we'll look at what gratitude really looks like at different ages, share simple daily practices that tend to stick, and explain how this connects to the child-centered approach we use every day at Runningbrook.
Gratitude has received a lot of attention in child development research. Psychologist Robert Emmons, one of the leading researchers on gratitude, has found that practicing gratitude is linked to greater well-being, optimism and stronger relationships. Studies with school-age children and adolescents, such as work by Jeffrey Froh and colleagues, suggest that grateful children tend to feel more satisfied with their lives and more connected to others.
Researchers at the University of North Carolina, led by Andrea Hussong, have studied how parents help young children develop gratitude. Their work describes gratitude as more than saying “thank you.” It includes four parts:
This framework is helpful because it reminds us that gratitude is built step by step. Long before a child can explain why a gift was meaningful, they can begin noticing and feeling good about kind acts.
Every child develops at their own pace, and the ages below are general guides rather than rules. Temperament, language development, family culture and life experiences all play a role. Your child may show some of these behaviors earlier, later or in their own unique way.
At this stage, gratitude is about connection. Babies light up when a familiar adult responds to them, and toddlers may hand you a toy or offer a hug. They aren't yet thinking “I'm thankful,” but they are absorbing the warmth and rhythm of caring relationships. Every time you narrate kindness (“Grandma brought you a banana. That was kind!”), you're planting seeds.
Children this age are discovering their own wants and opinions, which is a healthy part of early childhood development. You might hear “Mine!” far more often than “Thank you.” They can learn to say “thank you” as a routine, often with reminders, and they enjoy imitating the adults around them. Don't worry if the words feel automatic for now; the meaning grows later.
Around ages four and five, many children begin to better understand that other people have their own thoughts and feelings, something researchers call “theory of mind.” This opens the door to deeper gratitude. A five-year-old might notice that a friend shared a favorite crayon even though they wanted it too, or understand that a teacher prepared a special activity just for the class. You may also see them begin to express thanks spontaneously, through drawings, small gifts or kind words.
These moments aren't signs of an ungrateful child. They reflect a young brain still learning to manage strong feelings and to see the world from other perspectives. They're also wonderful opportunities to practice.
The most lasting habits are the ones that feel natural and enjoyable. Here are five practical strategies you can start today. Choose the ones that suit your family; you know your child best.
Children learn more from what we do than from what we say. When you thank the bus driver, tell your partner you appreciate dinner, or say “I'm so grateful for this sunny day,” your child is watching. Try making your gratitude visible and specific: “Thank you for helping me carry the groceries. It made my arms feel so much better!” Thanking your child directly is especially powerful, because it shows them how good it feels to be appreciated.
Rituals give gratitude a predictable home in your day. Some ideas that work well with young children:
For toddlers, keep it very simple. Asking “What made you smile today?” and accepting answers like “the slide!” is a perfect start.
This connects to the “thinking” part of gratitude. When someone does something kind, gently point out the effort and care involved. For example, after a grandparent visits with homemade cookies, you might say, “Abuela spent the morning baking these because she loves you.” Over time, questions like “Why do you think your friend shared with you?” help children connect gifts and kindness to the people behind them.
Young children learn best through doing, which is why play-based learning is so effective. Gratitude can be playful too:
These “doing” activities help children experience the joy of giving back, which strengthens the positive feelings connected to gratitude.
When a child forgets to say thank you or reacts disappointedly to a gift, it's tempting to correct them on the spot. Instead, try coaching gently and privately: “I know it wasn't what you hoped for. Your aunt chose it thinking of you. How could we let her know we appreciate that?” Forced thank-yous can feel like a performance, while patient guidance helps children build real understanding. Remember, you are planting seeds that will bloom over years, not days.
Families express appreciation in many different ways. In some cultures, gratitude is shown mostly through words; in others, it's expressed through actions, hospitality, respect for elders or reciprocity rather than verbal thanks. Some families emphasize gratitude within religious or spiritual traditions, while others focus on community and nature.
At Runningbrook, our multicultural environment brings together families from more than 35 countries, and we see this beautiful diversity every day. There's no single “right” way to raise a grateful child. If your family speaks more than one language, exploring words like “thank you,” “gracias,” “merci” or “arigatō” can be a fun way to celebrate both gratitude and heritage. In our bilingual education setting, children often love learning how friends say thank you at home.
Our child-centered approach means we follow children's interests and meet them where they are developmentally. Gratitude is woven naturally into daily life rather than taught as a separate lesson.
Our small group sizes allow educators to notice and celebrate these moments individually, which supports the self-esteem, social confidence and empathy that make gratitude possible.
Raising a grateful child doesn't require perfect routines or daily lessons. It happens in the small moments: a thank-you at the dinner table, a drawing for grandma, a shared smile on the walk home. Some days your child will surprise you with heartfelt appreciation, and other days they'll seem focused only on what they want. Both are part of growing up.
Remember that you are the expert on your own child. You know their temperament, their rhythms and what makes them feel loved. Trust that knowledge, adapt these ideas to fit your family, and be gentle with yourself along the way. Every time you model kindness and appreciation, you're showing your child what gratitude looks and feels like.
And perhaps the best place to start is with you. Thank you for the love, time and care you give your child every single day. It matters more than you know.