July 13, 2026
The first day of preschool is one of those moments that stays with families forever. You may have spent weeks preparing for it, imagining how it will go, and quietly wondering how you will both handle the goodbye at the door. If your heart flutters a little when you think about it, you are not alone. At Runningbrook International Preschool, we have welcomed over 1,200 families from more than 35 countries since 1993, and we can tell you with certainty: separation anxiety is one of the most universal experiences of early childhood, and it is completely normal.
Here is something important that often gets overlooked: separation anxiety is not only about your child. It is a two-way street. Parents feel it too, and the way we manage our own emotions has a powerful influence on how our little ones settle in. This article is here to reassure you, to help you understand what is happening developmentally, and to give you practical tools you can use right away.
Separation anxiety is a healthy sign of the strong, secure attachment your child has formed with you. According to attachment research pioneered by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, a child's distress at separation actually reflects a trusting bond. In other words, those tears at the door are a testament to the loving relationship you have built.
Separation anxiety typically becomes noticeable between 8 and 18 months and can resurface at various points throughout early childhood. Every child moves through this at their own pace, and there is no single "right" timeline. Here are some behaviors you might notice:
These reactions can look different depending on your child's age. A toddler in our Growing Steps or Playgroup programs may express distress through tears and physical clinging, while an older child in Kid's Club or Pre-Kinder may voice worries with words like "Don't leave me" or "I don't want to go." All of these are valid, and all of them tend to ease with time, consistency, and warmth.
It is also worth noting that cultural background can shape how families and children experience separation. In some cultures, extended family involvement means children are used to being cared for by many trusted adults, while in others the primary caregiver bond is especially central. In our multicultural environment, we honor these differences and never assume there is one correct way to approach goodbyes.
The good news is that there is a great deal you can do to make these first days easier for everyone. Here are strategies you can start using today:
Before the first day arrives, give your child small, positive experiences of being apart from you. Leave them with a trusted grandparent or friend for short periods and always return with a warm reunion. This teaches your child a powerful lesson: when you leave, you always come back.
Children thrive on predictability. A short, loving goodbye ritual gives your child a sense of control and closure. It might be a special handshake, three kisses, or a phrase you say every time such as "See you soon, I love you." Keep it brief and consistent. Long, drawn-out goodbyes tend to increase anxiety rather than reduce it.
Children are remarkably good at reading our feelings. If you feel anxious, take a breath and project calm confidence. Trust that the educators are there to support your child. When your child sees that you feel safe leaving them, they learn that this new place is safe too.
In the days leading up to the first day, talk about all the wonderful things your child will experience: the play spaces, the new friends, the caring educators. Read books about starting preschool together. At the same time, be honest that you will say goodbye and then come back, so your child knows what to expect.
A familiar object, a family photo, or a small note tucked into a backpack can offer reassurance throughout the day. These little anchors remind your child that home and family are always close, even when you are apart.
Our child-centered approach means we meet each child exactly where they are. We do not rush the settling-in process, and we never treat tears as a problem to be fixed. Instead, our dedicated educators build genuine relationships with each child, offering the warmth and steady presence that helps a nervous little one feel at home.
Our small group sizes mean your child receives individual attention during those vulnerable first days. Through our play-based learning philosophy, children discover that preschool is a place of joy, curiosity, and connection. Play is the language of childhood, and it is often through play that a child who arrived in tears in the morning is found laughing with a new friend by mid-morning.
Our extensive indoor and outdoor play spaces give children room to explore and settle at their own rhythm, supporting early childhood development in a bilingual education setting where children absorb language naturally through immersion and play. Within our multicultural environment, every family's background and approach is valued.
If there is one thing we want you to take away, it is this: you are the expert on your own child. You know their temperament, their comforts, and their cues better than anyone. Trust that knowledge, and trust that this milestone, however tender, is one your child is ready to grow through.
Separation anxiety is not a sign that something is wrong. It is a sign of love, and love is the strongest foundation for confidence and independence. With your steady support and our caring team beside you, your child will discover that the world beyond your arms is a wonderful place to explore, and that you will always be there when the day is done.
We are honored to walk this journey with you. Welcome to the Runningbrook family.