August 6, 2026
You've packed the bag, laid out the little shoes, and rehearsed the goodbye a dozen times in your head. Then you arrive at the preschool door, kneel down for a hug, and your child bursts into tears, arms wrapped tightly around your neck. You walk away with a knot in your stomach, wondering: Am I doing the right thing? Is my child going to be okay? Why does this hurt so much?
If this sounds familiar, take a deep breath. You are not alone, and you are not doing anything wrong. At Runningbrook International Preschool, we have welcomed more than 1,200 families from over 35 countries since 1993, and we can tell you with complete confidence: tears at drop-off are one of the most normal, healthy, and temporary parts of starting preschool. In fact, that crying phase often lasts around two weeks, and there is beautiful developmental science behind why.
This article is here to reassure you, to explain what is happening in your child's growing brain and heart, and to give you practical tools you can use tomorrow morning. Most of all, we want you to know that those tears are not a sign of failure. They are a sign of love.
Separation anxiety is not a problem to be fixed. It is a milestone to be understood. When your child cries because you are leaving, they are demonstrating something wonderful: a secure attachment to you. They know exactly who their safe person is, and they would prefer to stay close to that person. That is precisely how healthy human development is supposed to work.
The concept of attachment was pioneered by British psychologist John Bowlby and later expanded through the research of Mary Ainsworth, whose famous "Strange Situation" studies showed that children with secure attachments often protest separation from their caregivers but recover and explore confidently once they feel safe. In other words, your child's tears and their eventual calm are two halves of the same healthy process.
Developmentally, separation anxiety tends to peak between 10 and 18 months and can reappear or intensify whenever a child faces a new environment, such as starting preschool. This is true whether your little one is in our Growing Steps program (6 months to 2 years), Playgroup (2 to 3 years), Kid's Club (3 to 4 years), or Pre-Kinder (4 to 6 years). Older children may not cry as openly, but they may cling, ask lots of questions, or complain of tummy aches. Every age expresses the same underlying feeling in its own way.
It is also important to remember that children develop at their own pace. Some children settle in three days; others need three weeks. One child may march in without a backward glance, while their sibling weeps for a fortnight. Neither path is better or worse. Both are perfectly normal.
Knowing what typically unfolds can make the process feel far less frightening. Here is what many families experience during those first days at preschool:
This gentle arc is exactly why our child-centered approach matters so much. With small group sizes and dedicated educadoras who know each child individually, we can meet your little one right where they are emotionally and guide them, at their own speed, toward feeling at home.
You have more power to ease this transition than you might think. Here are strategies you can start using immediately.
It is tempting to linger "just a little longer" or to sneak out when your child is distracted. Both tend to backfire. A drawn-out goodbye increases anxiety, and sneaking away can make a child feel less secure the next time. Instead, create a short, predictable ritual: a hug, a kiss, a special phrase like "I'll see you after snack time," and then a confident exit. Consistency helps your child trust the routine.
Children thrive on predictability. A three-second handshake, a wave from the same window, or a "kiss in the pocket" your child can hold onto during the day gives them a comforting anchor. Rituals turn an uncertain moment into a familiar one.
Young children are expert readers of our feelings. If you leave looking anxious or tearful, your child senses that something must be wrong. Try to project calm confidence, even if you cry in the car afterward (many parents do, and that is okay). Trusting the process out loud can help: "You're going to have such a fun day, and I'll be back soon."
Before and after preschool, speak about it as a place of adventure and friendship. Read books about starting school, play pretend drop-off with stuffed animals, and ask open questions about what your child enjoyed. This builds excitement and a sense of belonging that supports our play-based learning philosophy.
Our educadoras are experienced at comforting children after goodbyes, and they are always happy to send you a message or photo once your child has settled. Do not hesitate to ask. Partnering with us reassures both you and your child that the adults in their life are working together.
In our multicultural environment, we welcome families with many different traditions around separation, independence, and comfort. Some cultures encourage early independence, while others emphasize extended closeness. There is no single "right" way, and our bilingual education setting celebrates this diversity. What matters most is that your child feels loved, safe, and understood, both at home and here at Runningbrook.
This variety is one of the quiet gifts of an early childhood development environment like ours. Children learn that families do things differently, and that difference is something to be curious about rather than afraid of.
As you navigate these first weeks, please hold on to one essential truth: no one knows your child better than you do. Our educadoras bring experience and training, and research offers helpful guidance, but you are the expert on your own child's temperament, history, and heart. If something feels off, or if your child's distress seems to intensify well beyond the typical two-week window, trust that instinct and reach out. We are always here to listen and to problem-solve alongside you.
Those two weeks of tears will pass. One morning, perhaps sooner than you expect, your child will let go of your hand, run toward their friends and their educadoras, and barely glance back. When that day comes, it will be because you gave them a secure base to grow from, and because together we created a place where they feel safe enough to be brave.
Be gentle with yourself. Those drop-off tears, both theirs and yours, are simply love finding its footing. And love, given time and patience, always finds its way.