December 11, 2025
At Runningbrook International Preschool, where we've supported over 1200 families from more than 35 countries since 1993, we've witnessed countless sibling pairs navigate the joys and challenges of growing up together. Our child-centered, play-based approach creates natural opportunities for siblings across our programs—from Growing Steps (6 months-2 years) to Pre-Kinder (4-6 years)—to develop the social confidence and emotional skills that strengthen their bonds both at home and in our multicultural environment.
Sibling relationships are among the most complex relationships we'll ever experience, and during early childhood, children are just beginning to understand what it means to share space, attention, and love with a brother or sister. What you observe will vary greatly depending on your children's ages, temperaments, and developmental stages—and it's important to remember that all children develop at different rates.
In the infant and toddler years (6 months-3 years):
In the preschool years (3-6 years):
Research by developmental psychologist Laurie Kramer at Northeastern University has shown that positive sibling relationships in early childhood are associated with better emotional regulation, stronger social skills, and increased empathy throughout life. However, Dr. Kramer's work also emphasizes that conflict between siblings isn't inherently negative—it's a natural context for learning negotiation, problem-solving, and perspective-taking skills.
The good news is that parents play a crucial role in shaping how siblings relate to one another. Here are actionable strategies you can implement today to encourage positive sibling relationships:
Rather than always separating siblings to prevent conflict, intentionally design activities that require cooperation. This aligns beautifully with Runningbrook's play-based learning approach, where children learn essential skills through meaningful, engaging activities.
Try activities like building a block tower together, working on a large floor puzzle, creating art on a shared poster board, or making music with different instruments. For younger children, simple games like rolling a ball back and forth or playing peek-a-boo together can foster connection. In our multicultural environment at Runningbrook, we've seen how collaborative play transcends language barriers—siblings from bilingual families often develop their own play language that strengthens their unique bond.
The key is to focus on the process rather than the product. Celebrate their teamwork: "I noticed how you both worked together to make that tower so tall!" rather than just the end result.
When conflict arises—and it will—resist the urge to immediately solve the problem or determine who's at fault. Instead, acknowledge each child's feelings while guiding them toward positive resolution.
You might say: "I can see you're both really frustrated right now. You wanted to play with the red car, and you were already holding it. Let's figure out a solution together." This approach, central to our child-centered philosophy, helps children feel heard while learning that their feelings don't have to control their actions.
For very young children who don't yet have the language to express themselves, you can become their voice: "It looks like you wanted that toy. You can say, 'Can I have a turn?'" Teaching these emotional literacy skills early pays dividends as siblings grow.
Remember that feelings of jealousy, frustration, or anger toward a sibling are completely normal. What matters is helping children learn to express these feelings safely and work through them constructively.
One of the most powerful ways to reduce sibling rivalry is to ensure each child receives dedicated one-on-one time with you. Even 15 minutes of focused attention can fill a child's emotional cup and reduce attention-seeking behaviors that often manifest as sibling conflict.
This doesn't need to be elaborate or time-consuming. Read a book together while the other naps, involve one child in cooking dinner, or simply sit and play with blocks giving that child your full attention. Let each child know this is "their" special time with you.
At Runningbrook, our small group sizes ensure that each child receives individual attention from our dedicated educators, but we recognize that the special bond between parent and child is irreplaceable. You are the expert on your own children—you know what makes each of them feel valued and seen.
In our multicultural environment, we celebrate diversity not just in culture and language, but in temperament, interests, and developmental timelines. Bring this same appreciation into your home by consciously avoiding comparisons between siblings.
Instead of saying "Why can't you be gentle like your sister?" try "I need you to use gentle hands. Show me how you can touch softly." Rather than "Your brother could count to 20 at your age," recognize that "You're working hard on learning your numbers, and everyone learns at their own pace."
Celebrate each child's unique strengths, interests, and personality. One child might be a natural climber who thrives in outdoor play spaces, while another might lose themselves in creative art projects. Both deserve recognition for who they are, not how they measure up to their sibling.
This strengths-based approach helps children develop the self-esteem and independence that are core to Runningbrook's educational philosophy, while reducing the competition that can strain sibling relationships.
Young children are constantly learning from what they observe. When you notice positive sibling interactions, name them specifically: "I saw you share your snack with your brother. That was very kind," or "You helped your sister reach that toy. You were being a helpful sibling."
You can also actively coach siblings on how to interact positively. Before a play session, you might say: "Let's think about how you could ask your sister to play with you," or "What could you do if your brother takes a toy you're playing with?" This proactive approach develops the social confidence and problem-solving skills that will serve them throughout life.
Additionally, model respect and kindness in your own relationships. When siblings hear you speaking kindly to your partner, friends, and family members—and see you resolving conflicts peacefully—they internalize these patterns.
It's worth noting that cultural backgrounds can significantly influence how families view and structure sibling relationships. In our diverse Runningbrook community, we've learned from families representing more than 35 countries that expectations around sibling roles, the value placed on interdependence versus independence, and acceptable expressions of conflict vary across cultures.
Some families come from cultures where older siblings are expected to take on caretaking responsibilities from an early age, while others prioritize allowing all children equal freedom to play and explore. Some cultural backgrounds encourage more boisterous, physical play between siblings, while others emphasize quieter, more respectful interactions. There's no single "right" way—what matters is that your approach aligns with your family's values while supporting each child's development.
If you're reading this while mentally replaying this morning's argument over who got the blue cup or feeling exhausted from mediating yet another toy dispute, take heart. The work you're doing to nurture your children's relationship with each other is among the most important parenting work there is.
Sibling relationships in early childhood are messy, loud, and sometimes frustrating—but they're also incredibly valuable. Every time you coach your children through a conflict, celebrate their cooperation, or simply stay calm when they're anything but, you're teaching them skills that will shape their relationships for decades to come. You're helping them learn to navigate disagreements, understand different perspectives, share space and resources, express and manage emotions, and develop empathy and compassion.
Remember that you don't need to create a conflict-free home—that's neither realistic nor particularly beneficial. What you're aiming for is a home where conflicts are handled respectfully, where each child feels valued for who they are, and where the bonds of siblinghood are recognized as special and worth nurturing.
At Runningbrook, we're honored to partner with you in supporting your children's social and emotional development. Whether they're in the same program or different age groups, our child-centered approach creates opportunities for siblings to grow both independently and together, developing the curiosity, creativity, and social confidence that will serve them throughout their educational journey and beyond.
Trust yourself—you know your children best. Some days will be harmonious, and some days will test your patience. Both are part of the beautiful, complex journey of raising siblings who will hopefully grow into lifelong friends.