April 2, 2026
At Runningbrook International Preschool, we've had the privilege of nurturing over 1,200 families from more than 35 countries since 1993. Through these decades of experience, we've witnessed how a child-centered approach, combined with intentional support from both educators and parents, creates the fertile ground where healthy self-esteem can flourish. In this article, we'll explore what self-esteem looks like in young children, what you might observe as it develops, and practical strategies you can implement to support your child's growing sense of self-worth.
Self-esteem in young children is different from what we might observe in older children or adults. For infants and toddlers, it begins with a fundamental sense of trust—the understanding that their needs will be met, that they are safe, and that they matter to the people around them. As children grow, this foundation expands to include feelings of competence ("I can do things"), belonging ("I am part of this group"), and worthiness ("I am loved for who I am").
Research in early childhood development consistently shows that the first six years of life are critical for establishing these core beliefs about oneself. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and child development experts worldwide, children who develop healthy self-esteem during these formative years are better equipped to:
It's important to note that self-esteem development looks different across cultures. In our multicultural environment at Runningbrook, we recognize that some families emphasize individual achievement, while others prioritize collective harmony and contribution to the group. Both approaches can nurture healthy self-esteem when implemented with warmth and responsiveness. There is no single "right way" to raise confident children—what matters most is the quality of the relationship between parent and child.
Children develop at their own unique pace, and self-esteem manifests differently depending on age and temperament. Here's what you might observe at various stages:
Even in the earliest months, babies are developing their sense of self. You might notice your infant:
As toddlers gain mobility and language, their sense of self expands rapidly. You might observe:
At this stage, children are developing a more complex understanding of who they are. You might see:
Older preschoolers have a more sophisticated sense of self. You might notice:
Remember, these are general patterns, not milestones that every child must meet at specific times. Some children are naturally more cautious, while others dive headfirst into new experiences. Some express confidence loudly, while others demonstrate it quietly. You are the expert on your own child, and your observations are invaluable.
The good news is that building self-esteem doesn't require special equipment, expensive programs, or perfect parenting. It happens in the everyday moments of life together. Here are practical strategies you can implement starting today:
This might seem obvious, but it's worth stating clearly: children need to know they are loved for who they are, not just for what they do. This means:
Imagine a scenario: Your three-year-old is having a meltdown because their tower fell down. Instead of saying "Stop crying, it's not a big deal," you might kneel down and say, "You're so frustrated! You worked hard on that tower and it fell. That's disappointing." This simple shift tells your child that their feelings matter and that you're there for them in difficult moments.
Research by psychologist Carol Dweck and others has shown that praising effort rather than innate ability helps children develop what she calls a "growth mindset"—the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work. In practice, this looks like:
This approach is central to our play-based learning philosophy at Runningbrook. When children engage in open-ended play, they naturally encounter challenges and have opportunities to persist, problem-solve, and experience the satisfaction of figuring things out on their own.
Children feel valuable when they can contribute meaningfully to their family and community. Even very young children can participate in age-appropriate tasks:
The key is to offer real responsibilities—not just busy work—and to express genuine appreciation for their help. "Thank you for putting the spoons out. Now our table is ready for dinner!" This builds both competence and a sense of belonging.
Children build confidence by doing things for themselves, but they need us to create the conditions that make independence possible. This might include:
At Runningbrook, our small group sizes and dedicated educators allow us to provide this kind of individualized support. We watch carefully to understand when a child needs encouragement to try something independently and when they need a helping hand.
In our multicultural environment, we celebrate the rich diversity of backgrounds, languages, and traditions that families bring. You can support your child's identity development by:
In bilingual education settings, children have the unique opportunity to develop confidence in multiple languages and cultural contexts. This cognitive flexibility and cultural competence become sources of pride and self-assurance.
While all children go through periods of self-doubt or struggle, some signs might indicate that additional support could be helpful:
If you notice these patterns, don't hesitate to reach out to your child's educators, your pediatrician, or a child development specialist. Early support can make a significant difference.
Building self-esteem in young children is not about creating children who think they're perfect or never experience doubt. It's about helping them develop a core sense of their own worth that can sustain them through life's inevitable challenges. It's about raising children who know they are loved, who believe they can learn and grow, and who feel they have something valuable to offer the world.
You don't need to be a perfect parent to raise a confident child. In fact, research suggests that children benefit from seeing their parents make mistakes and recover from them. What matters most is your consistent presence, your genuine interest in who they are, and your unwavering message that they are loved.
At Runningbrook, we consider ourselves partners with parents in this important work. Our child-centered approach means that we meet each child where they are, respecting their individual pace of development and their unique personality. Through play-based learning, warm relationships with dedicated educators, and a community that celebrates diversity, we create an environment where children can discover their strengths, take healthy risks, and develop the confidence they need to thrive.
Trust yourself. You know your child better than anyone else. The fact that you're reading this article shows that you care deeply about your child's wellbeing. That love and intention are the most important ingredients in raising a child with healthy self-esteem.